Ring A Ding Ding

"Don't ever make me lie for that long again!" Stefanie began.

Stefanie, a self-proclaimed terrible liar, had been lying for precisely two days.

My then-boyfriend had asked her to accompany him to a jewelry shop to pick out the bauble that was to be my engagement ring. Stefanie was excited, and even did some research once she realized that shopping for diamonds is freaking complicated.

Jacob met her after work, and they proceeded to a classy jewelry shop near Stefanie's office. They nervously looked over their shoulders, as Stefanie's office was just around the corner from my office, and they were hoping I wouldn't walk past.

*I should take a moment to digress, and explain that just three days after this shopping outing, a police-officer friend of ours would be taking me and Jacob to a Virginia gun range and teaching us how to shoot.*

Cut back to ring shopping. While their sales associate was looking for something in the back room, Stefanie and Jacob chatted about how he planned to propose. Stefanie joked, "You should totally propose to her at the gun range!" She looked up to find the sales associate standing right in front of them. Embarrassed, Stefanie quickly tried to assure the woman that she was one hundred percent kidding, and that she would never actually suggest proposing in such a fashion. The woman raised an eyebrow.

"But, she had to have known you were kidding... right?" I asked trepidly as she regaled me with the story.

"I'm not so sure," Stefanie lamented. "I mean, she looked at me as if I had shot her dog. Right in front of her."



Some people wouldn't know a good joke if it picked out diamonds right in front of them.